Your Mom's A Blog

The official "Mom Joke" blog brought to you by Damn Sexy.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Rules

The rules for the list are simple. 1) Only real mom jokes will be posted. That is, jokes that were created on the spot in response to another person's statement are welcomed, but jokes that you make up yourself or that come about by "self-serving" (creating both the setup line and joke) are not allowed. We're on the honor system here folks, so it's up to you to maintain the integrity of this list. 2) Don't submit jokes that are already on the list!

To add your authentic "Mom Joke" to this list, send me an email or post the entry as a comment and I'll integrate it into the list. Please give me the context of the joke with your entry. Finally, if you contribute to this list and would like to be credited with a sidebar link, let me know.

The List

Your Mom's...

Your mom's a built-in advantage.
Your mom’s a free play.
Your mom’s a box.
Your mom’s an open box.
Your mom’s a playground.
Your mom’s an amusement park.
Your mom’s a grill.
Your mom’s easy.
Your mom’s free.
Your mom’s open for business.
Your mom’s the lap-belt.
Your mom’s a bonus.
Your mom’s a joke.
Your mom’s a professional.
Your mom’s abroad.
Your mom’s a real bargain.
Your mom’s a bitch.
Your mom’s a cabin that sleeps two.
Your mom’s my office.
Your mom’s a pleasure device.
Your mom’s late.
Your mom’s the story of my life.
Your mom’s stuffed.
Your mom’s loaded.
Your mom’s my job.
Your mom’s an open box.
Your mom’s a handsome cab.
Your mom’s a hard drive.
Your mom’s slippery and stuff.
Your mom’s soft and pliable.
Your mom’s the best tootsie roll I’ve ever had.
Your mom’s going back to earning an honest living.
Your mom’s delicious.
Your mom’s crack is really sharp.
Your mom’s very flexible.
Your mom’s burnt on the outside, raw on the inside.
Your mom’s where the fat is.
Your mom’s farm raised.
Your mom’s got a nicely wrapped package.
Your mom’s a rich area of investigation.
Your mom’s genetically engineered to be large breasted.
Your mom’s the greatest service on the face of the planet.
Your mom’s my list.
Your mom’s a minor mistake that I made.
Your mom’s $500 a night.
Your mom’s a quick in and out thing.
Your mom’s a standard American dish.
Your mom’s plowable.
Your mom’s gonna get plowed in.
Your mom’s not worth a dollar fifty.
Your mom’s full of balls.
Your mom’s weight is borne by her kneecaps.
Your mom’s got a package.
Your mom’s a pickle grabber.
Your mom’s fucked up.
Your mom’s doable.
Your mom’s compacted.
Your mom’s leaky.
Your mom’s the half-time entertainment.
Your mom’s selling herself.
Your mom’s sloppy on both ends.
Your mom’s a first round knockdown.
Your mom’s volume is dirty.
Your mom’s got good suction.
Your mom’s door was so tight I had to use both feet to get it out.
Your mom’s a slow boat to China.
Your mom’s like a tea bag, you can use her again.
Your mom’s hard that way.
Your mom’s been used multiple times.
Your mom’s a finely tuned machine
Your mom’s pitch is wet.
Your mom’s hole is too small.
Your mom’s door was cocked open.
Your mom’s the main menu.
Your mom’s been done by the Dutch
Your mom’s got a sizeable trunk space.
Your mom’s so chewed up.
Your mom’s the lap of luxury.
Your mom’s a bad scene.
Your mom’s gone down.
Your mom’s a good customer.
Your mom’s gotta give it up.
Your mom’s a cheap screw.
Your mom’s a tight fit
Your mom’s a pro.
Your mom’s public domain.
Your mom’s just a great teaser.

Complex Jokes

I pressurized your mom’s chamber.
Your mom’s a two-fer…buy one, get one.
Not everybody who gets in your mom finishes.
They bring your mom to me for free every day.
Your mom has turned out to be a marvelous bargain.
Your mom got triple-whammied.
You have to be "this tall" to ride your mom.
Your mom was an easy ride.
Your mom comes right away.
Your mom has trouble grabbing the pickle.
Your mom was like a public utility.
If your mom’s stuffed up in one, it just goes to another.
Your mom was really good for packing.
I rammed into your mom from behind.
I hope your mom doesn’t spring a leak and squirt in his face.
Your mom takes schedule 80 piping.
I wanna feel how thick the inside of your mom’s walls are.
He’s gonna have your mom mounted on something.
I really scored with your mom.
Your mom was quite tasty.
I have plenty of experience with you mom.
I worked your mom after dark.
Your mom might come back a little sticky.
I have to wax your mom’s board appropriately.
That guy really knows how to stuff your mom.
Your mom was double teamed.
I can work both ends of your mom.
I sucked back your mom.
Your mom hands it out pretty well.
I plugged up the whole in your mom.
I don’t believe in eating out your mom.
Anyone can stand on your mom.
Your mom comes every time I want.
Your mom plays with it.
I greased up the inside of your mom before insertion.
I gave your mom deep penetration into the backfield.
Your mom was all slimy.
Your mom got spanked.
Your mom worked on the first try.
Your mom gives.
Your mom is opening today.
I banged your mom.
Your mom rotates pretty freely.
Your mom likes it hard and rough.
Your mom sets in the west.
Your mom got it.
You can get your mom anytime.
I dialed your mom.
I took communal advantage of your mom.
I like having your mom delivered sideways.
Your mom was clicked in all the way.
It’s a two for Tuesday at your mom.
I want your mom to open up.
Your mom got busy.
Your mom was popular.
I drilled right straight through your mom with mine.
I’m gonna do your mom.
What if your mom doesn’t come.
I had your mom on a rusty bed.
Your mom’s dick is big.
Your mom serves me well.
I’m so close to the end I can taste your mom.
I find a way of doing your mom.
I scooped your mom.
I topped off your mom.
One way ticket to your mom.
Your mom advertises in the Village Voice.
Your mom comes and goes.
Your mom goes deep in the rotation.
I use your mom every day.
I’m gonna jack your mom up 14 inches.
Take a whiff of your mom.
Last night I gave your mom a choke for the ages.
I almost rear-ended your mom on the FDR.
When your mom spits she blows.
I fondled your mom’s little black box.
Your mom sucks cause she’s all played out.
I wanna plug your mom’s holes.
Your mom’s the St. Patrick’s Day Special.
I gave it to your mom in a real short version.
Your mom got passed around.
Your mom operates like a dream.
I was plugged into your mom.
I sworded your mom’s rack.
I like to flip your mom over.
Your mom will put anything in her mouth.
Your mom won’t be so fresh and tender next year.
Your mom gets beat on both sides.
I sucked your mom for $120 this time.
Your mom was having trouble swallowing it.
Your mom asked for it.
I’m gonna play dirty and clean with your mom today.
I mounted your mom with four screws.
I spread it on your mom’s thing.
I loaded your mom last night.
It hurts when your mom swallows.
Boning your mom is quality.
You can ride your mom for 15 years and never have to put a nickel in.
Your mom was getting it from both sides.
I’ll cream your mom up here.
I can ride your mom in 90 degree weather
I did your moms in two minutes.
I can stretch your mom’s margins a lot.
Your mom wasn’t the tastiest.
Your mom is 32 miles of flat riding
I banged your mom out.
I think I already clogged your mom up.
I’m riding your mom like a rented mule.
I pulled it out for your mom.
I slaked your mom.
You mom looked tighter than I’ve seen ever.
I enjoy looking at your mom’s equipment.
I really only need your mom for four hours.
Your mom enjoys a stiff ride.
Your mom hurts in certain positions.
Your mom makes it bigger.
Can we see how the Instron impacts your mom’s box?